In and around Eden, there's evidence of nature itself having gone horribly corrupt which ties in somewhat with the wife's paranoia about the place. There are a few effective sequences like the one where Clay sees a deer with a stillborn fawn hanging halfway out of it, and the one where Horsey, his horse faced wife, (can't be arsed to find her name) runs around the woods trying to investigate the sound of a child crying only to find that the noise persists even after she discovers that her own kid is safe. There are also laugh out loud moments like the one where a fox stops committing harakiri long enough to tell Carson "Chaos Reigns!" in a death growl. All of these are ruined by endless amounts of staring and literally tons of joyless fucking. Subsuming even these are extended sequences of the woman sobbing uncontrollably. Yes, Lars Von Trier, we get the fact that she is (and you were) depressed, move the fuck on.

The tenor of the film changes dramatically over the last half hour. It becomes an outrageously funny over the top sex farce like Takashii Mike directing a Carry On Movie scripted by Cannibal Corpse. Horsey gets totally batshit insane and mashes Carson's balls to a pulp, except his boner, like Celine Dion's heart, still goes on. Faced with this demonic re-erection, Horsey strokes the zombie boner till it gives her a blood bukkake. She hammers a crudely fashioned tyre clamp on one of Carson's feet before taking off to wander the fuck around yelling. Clay wakes up pissed off, crawls into a hole and  attempts to murder a baby crow. Horsey finds him and after failing to pull him out of the hole, digs him out of it. And all the while Clay is pulling a wide range of incredibly comic faces. If this wasn't enough to get you to bust a gut laughing, Horsey attempts to make some sexy time with the husband, only to realise that the "I Cum Blood" sequence was Carson's last hurrah as a man. She chops her clit off in frustration. I guess this is why kids are told not to run with scissors - this movie makes such a move seem a natural and almost inevitable consequence. In the meantime, a fox, a deer and a bird wander about the scene like they were in the studio next door auditioning for a Disney movie, came over to check what the commotion was about and now can't help but stare in embarrassed fascination.

Idiots all over the internet are pondering the symbolism and imagery of this film, about what it all means and what Von Trier is trying to say. How about nothing, assholes? How about he just made as tedious and pointless a film as is humanly possible (without being David Lynch) as his depressed revenge against the world? Why are people so willing to attribute genius, thought and depth to wank jobs like Von Tirer, irrespective of what they churn out, and none to others like the directors of Mallu Porn films who fill their films with equal and in some cases even greater amounts of WTFery? 

Anyway, this is a pointless boring film that fails both as ponderous cerebral cinema and as horror. It's got the kind of middling shocks and scares that will only disconcert newbies, the very timid or art film wankers who have only seen movies by the likes of Wong Kar Wai, Pedro Almodovar and consider Coen Bros' No Country For Old Men the final word in edgy disturbing cinema.