"KvltSite is our collective scribbling pad, a way to talk about all the things that we get off on – music, movies, games, books, comics. We do so in the hope that when others come along and hear of our tastes and recommendations, they would realise how awesome we are. Hints of our old irreverence surface ever so often, with witty dissections of popular trends and cultural fads, in the form of textual harassment as well as crafty comics. In short, we're in the business of writing about anything we think is cool."
Some salient scenes from Flexing With Monty, now burned into my shrivelled mind:
(1) A buff, exercise-freak called Monty fucking a blow-up doll. Later on, he does an encore with
a life-size, stuffed polar bear.
(2) Said exercise freak feeling impulse to clench his supposed brother Bertin's naked buttocks
while the latter's asleep.
(3) Monty remembering getting a massage in the nude from his grandmother.
(4) Bertin always carrying a red scarf tucked between his legs, staring at a candle in the dark,
getting hard and imagining the scarf turn to flesh.
(5) Bertin dreaming that he's growing pregnant with his mother before having the foetus disgorged
of by his shrewish grandmother.
(6) Bertin bringing back an exotic animal from the pet store to keep in his room, it being a
bald, masturbating midget.
(7) Some nun conjuring images of a post-nuclear holocaust world where man's been knocked back to
primeval slime, and women are laying eggs in marshes. "DO YOU KNOW HOW IT FEELS TO LAY EGGS IN A
MARSH??"
(8) Monty lowering his tights to fart in the nun's face
(9) Nun also disclosing to Bertin that he was conceived on the haunches of a horse.
(10) Bertin eventually kissing his mother on the mouth.
Did I just see that? Flexing With Monty has got to be one of the most absurd, laugh-out-loud
mindfucks I've ever seen. Directed by John Albo, the movie has been in the works for fourteen
years, and has now earned the dubious honour of being the most delayed film in history. Starring
the late Trevor Goddard (the first Mortal Kombat movie, the guy who gets beat up by Sonya in her
first match...Kano, there you go) in the eponymous role, this amateurly-acted, and outrageously
lewd and deranged movie will push all kinds of buttons and make you come out with rare insight
into how fucked you are in the head to have had put yourself through it.
Monty is a Phy. Ed. teacher at a school, and a gym freak for the other twenty four hours of the
day. He lives with his younger brother Bertin (Rudy Davis) inside what looks like a deserted
hangar. Monty is built like a mother but is slightly simple-minded, dreams of becoming the head
of athletics at his school, abstains from substance abuse, and is a raving homophobe and
anti-feminist. His brother Bertin is his polar opposite; slim, into philosophy and other
intellectual pursuits to the extent that it leads Monty to conjecture that all the stuff inside
Bertin's head results in the perpetually constipated look he carries. Bertin's been looked after
by Monty since the age of five, prior to which he was in an orphanage, presumably because Monty
was too young to care for the baby. The brothers are generally fond of each other. You can take
that as you may. The film runs through their lalaland existence, ultimately trying to unravel
their dead parents' identity which Monty has withheld from his brother all along.
Trevor Goddard died a few days after filming the final shot. What a way to go! He plays up his
caricature to the T, strutting and posing like Atlas-incarnate, showing superb comic timing,
probably unintentional at that. I mean.."You look like the mummied remains of an anorexic school
girl"? "You damned faggets eat fried ratcunt and dessicated penises the morning after ya'll
bugger each other, don't ya?" And that's nothing, there's tons more obnoxious stuff practically
littered through the movie. The guy playing his brother is horrible, but ludicrously funny with
his pearls of ontological wisdom. The nun is played by one-time softcore starlet Sally Kirkland,
a character central to the film's resolution as it is (hah!).
Monty dies at the end. His last words are, "Are my muscles sagging?"
Re:February's Fawlty Towers of Movies and Books 2 Years, 3 Months ago
Hunter S. Thompson's Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas was a book I had written off as a collection of unrelated drug-addled hallucinations and the worst possible journalistic practices. I'm halfway through the book and I find it surprisingly coherent and even hilarious- a portrait of trolling in the age before internet. It banks on paranoia, a desire to push the physical and mental limits and an inherent assholery that's maginified with a heady cocktail of incredibly dangerous drugs, alcohol and the nevada heat.
Re:February's Fawlty Towers of Movies and Books 2 Years, 3 Months ago
trix wrote: Hunter S. Thompson's Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas was a book I had written off as a collection of unrelated drug-addled hallucinations and the worst possible journalistic practices. I'm halfway through the book and I find it surprisingly coherent and even hilarious- a portrait of trolling in the age before internet. It banks on paranoia, a desire to push the physical and mental limits and an inherent assholery that's maginified with a heady cocktail of incredibly dangerous drugs, alcohol and the nevada heat.i am not much of a reader but i found this book to be just awesome!a good friend lent it to me sometime ago and now i need to actually pick up one for myself!
Re:February's Fawlty Towers of Movies and Books 2 Years, 3 Months ago
trix wrote: Hunter S. Thompson's Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas was a book I had written off as a collection of unrelated drug-addled hallucinations and the worst possible journalistic practices. I'm halfway through the book and I find it surprisingly coherent and even hilarious- a portrait of trolling in the age before internet. It banks on paranoia, a desire to push the physical and mental limits and an inherent assholery that's maginified with a heady cocktail of incredibly dangerous drugs, alcohol and the nevada heat.
Hmm, the movie bored me senseless. How does it compare to the source material?
Planet 51: One of those animated movies which is based on some guy making some pretty cool exaggerated expressions on a few characters, and then going "Hey let's make a movie out of that!". So, there's a cliched story (but it's new because the roles of the alien and human have been switched!) and unconvincing character development (which also seems a bit rushed since the characters spend a lot of time pulling funny expressions) sort of dunk this into the also-ran category. But I've got to admit there were a few funny random scenes in there. And the expressions are cool.
---
The Box: This one broadly follows in the footsteps of I Am Legend - take a Richard Matheson story, change the ending (which was, in both cases, the most important part of the story), and crowbar some half-assed shit in so that some resolution can be provided. Story goes thus: A box is given to a couple, and the sender says that there is a button on the box which when pressed will do two things - (1) Result in a million dollars being delivered to them shortly, and (2) Result in the death of someone they don't know. The original story was a simple exploration of how far normal people would go to benefit themselves if accountability were taken out of the picture, capped off with a shock ending. The new one's convoluted as a mofo. Though I did end up skipping some of the boring parts (which was nearly the whole movie), so the confusion was partly my fault, I guess. Not recommended. Maybe if you haven't read the original story, it'll go down better.
Avatar: That 3d shit was the bomb. Cameron may have lost his way as a film-maker in general (even if he did get way more successful in the process), but he still knows how to milk eye candy for all it's worth.
Re:February's Fawlty Towers of Movies and Books 2 Years, 3 Months ago
Srikanth Panaman wrote:
Also been watching Earth - The Power of the Planet, a pretty decent screencap of this new BBC-HD series that tries to explain what makes this planet tick in a very step by step and logical way explaining a whole lot of things and connecting the dots. I'm now through with the episodes about Volcano and atmosphere, and am halfway through the one on snow. Very good production values, and not as traditional and classy as Michael Palin or David Attenborough, so it has some electronic and rock music, and modern editing work not to mention. Two and a half episodes more to go but I'd highly recommend it already.
Just watched the entire series and it is pretty awesome, thanks. Only small annoyance was the reusing of footage from Attenborough's The Blue Planet and I'm probably the only person who minds it.
Re:February's Fawlty Towers of Movies and Books 2 Years, 3 Months ago
Rahul Chacko wrote:
Hmm, the movie bored me senseless. How does it compare to the source material?
Well, I didn't expect anything good at all from the book primarily because of the movie. So, given my low expectations, it ended up being quite readable. Yes, like the film, they do go trundling around Vegas but the writing style really keeps things going.
Re:February's Fawlty Towers of Movies and Books 2 Years, 3 Months ago
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I just finished watching the pilot episode of FX's new animated series, Archer. I will admit upfront that I'm a sucker for adult themed animated shows. Somehow, animation seems to be the only avenue open on American TV for shows that want to have originality, wit and random sillyness.
From what I could gather from the pilot, Archer revolves around an incompetent douchebag secret agent with an Oedipus complex. The show is created by Adam Reed of Sealab 2021 fame, one of my favourite shows ever. It's like Sealab, but far more abstruse and self-indulgent. It moves along at a dizzying pace, and it was hard for me to keep up with the jokes. I think this will get better once you know what to expect from the characters. A pilot is supposed to set up the premise of the show, so as a pilot this one is not great. The show cuts right to the chase without giving you a chance to prepare. It is definitely very funny. The writing is sharp, and with a little more focus this could turn into something very awesome.
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